Relationship Recommended Reading
Discover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home--now available in this follow-up to the internationally popular Crucial Conversations.
Behind the problems that routinely plague organizations and families, you'll find individuals who are either unwilling or unable to deal with failed promises. Others have broken rules, missed deadlines, failed to live up to commitments, or just plain behaved badly--and nobody steps up to the issue. Or they do, but do a lousy job and create a whole new set of problems. Accountability suffers and new problems spring up. New research demonstrates that these disappointments aren't just irritating, they're costly--sapping organizational performance by twenty to fifty percent and accounting for up to ninety percent of divorces.
"Crucial" conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? Crucial Conversations offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors' highly popular DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a powerful six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any highimpact situation with confidence.
Do you feel that your family is not what it used to be, or what it has the potential to be? Do you worry that the parenting decisions you're making today may be scarring your child for life? Do you sometimes feel you are in a tug-of-war with the world over who will shape your child's values and beliefs?
With Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family, Dr. Phil offers a new classic on family life -- and gives parents real answers and a plan for being the most positive and effective parents possible. Starting right now, you can begin to make realistic choices and take day-to-day actions that can make your family phenomenal. You must decide that you will lead your family with strength and love and that peace and joy are not just for the people next door or on TV. They're for your family.
Unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages, believes Dr. Gary Chapman. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. In a friendly, often humorous style, he unpacks each one. Some husbands or wives may crave focused attention; another needs regular praise. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." Some partners might find physical touch makes them feel valued: holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact. Chapman illustrates each love language with real-life examples from his counseling practice.
This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers," and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks.
The "disease" of self-deception (acting in ways contrary to what one knows is right) underlies all leadership problems in today's organizations, according to the premise of this work. However well intentioned they may be, leaders who deceive themselves always end up undermining their own performance. This straightforward book explains how leaders can discover their own self-deceptions and learn how to escape destructive patterns. The authors demonstrate that breaking out of these patterns leads to improved teamwork, commitment, trust, communication, motivation, and leadership.
Using the easily learned "D-I-S-C" system, Dr. Robert A. Rohmís Positive Personality Profiles helps readers understand themselves and others. Dr. Rohmís new book will clearly describe key differences in basic personality types, give practical insights into how people respond, provide keys for understanding your children, and explain methods for working with others.
As a follow-up to his bestselling book Life Strategies, Oprah acolyte Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., moves from aiding the aimless individual to coaching the disconnected couple. McGraw has distilled his more than two decades of counseling experience into a seven-step strategy he calls "Relationship Rescue."
"I'm prepared to kick a hole in the wall of the pain-ridden, unhappy maze you've gotten yourself into, and provide you clear access to action-oriented answers and instructions on what you must do to have what you want," says Dr. Phil. His aim is to expose and eliminate the saboteurs that cause senseless damage to already-fragile marriages, and, like an emotional root canal, to replace them with values he says provide positive results. If you follow Dr. Phil's strategy, he will lead you on a precise journey to uncover your heart and then share it with your partner as part of taking the "risk of intimacy."
"What is 'effectiveness' in a family?" asks author Steven R. Covey. He promptly answers with four words: "a beautiful family culture." Building this culture is the primary theme of Covey's parenting guide, a manual based on concepts introduced in his blockbuster, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Covey, a New-Age business guru and leadership authority, has consulted with the world's top corporate and political leaders, but closer to home he is the father of nine children. Here, Covey reinterprets each of his now famous "habits" (Habit 1: Be Proactive, Habit 4: Think Win-Win, Habit 6: Synergize) to apply to parenting and family-life issues. Covey suggests writing a family mission statement, implementing special family times and "one-on-ones," holding regular family meetings, and making the commitment to move from "me" to "we" as techniques to improve family effectiveness. Covey is a brilliant storyteller. By weaving the voices and anecdotes of his wife and children with his own inspirational and informative stories, exercises, and parables, he has created a book with something for all parents interested in enhancing the strength and beauty of their own families. --Ericka Lutz --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
The premise of this follow-up to Leadership and Self-Deception is simple: people whose hearts are at peace do not wage war, whether they're heads of state or members of a family. In this semi-fictional narrative ("inspired by actual events") illustrating the principles of achieving peace, the setting is a two-day parent workshop at an Arizona-based wilderness camp for out-of-control teenagers, but the storyline is a mere setting for an instruction manual. Workshop facilitators Yusuf al-Falah, a Palestinian Arab whose father was killed by Israelis in 1948, and Avi Rozen, an Israeli Jew whose father died in the Yom Kippur War, use examples from their domestic lives and the history of their region to illustrate situations in which the normal and necessary routines of daily life can become fodder for conflict. Readers observe this through the eyes of one participant, a father whose business is in nearly as much trouble as his teenage son. The usefulness of the information conveyed here on how conflicts take root, spread and can be resolved more than compensates for the pedestrian writing.
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts. Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples.